Full disclosure: the following post, written by Lauren Bersaglio, originally appeared on her blog, and was later featured on the Nurture Principles blog, which is where I came across it. After reading it I contacted Lauren to see if she would mind if I re-published it as part of Embrace:Me, and she was generous enough to grant me permission to do so. I’m thrilled that she did, because the message she shares here is perfectly in line with what Embrace:Me is all about. So thank you, Lauren!
Dear Body,
I am sorry for the first time I blamed you for the attention I wanted from him but didn’t get.
I am sorry for the first time I walked in to the gym with a new purpose: to defeat you.
I am sorry for the first time I denied you food, and the second, and the third…
I am sorry for comparing you to other bodies and feeling that you didn’t measure up.
I am sorry for the hours I spent in front of the mirror cursing you, and for incessantly pinching and squeezing you in rebellion of the parts of you I didn’t like and that I wanted to go away.
I remember barely having enough energy to make it until the afternoon without falling asleep from lack of energy and yet still denying you nourishment, and I apologize.
I remember punishing you in the gym until we’d fall into a pile on the floor, crying out in pain and fatigue…and I am sorry.
I am sorry for calling you names: fat, ugly, pale, disproportioned…
I am sorry for yelling and screaming at you in disgust as I threw all of my pain and anger back at you.
I am sorry for not accepting you when you were simply being what God made you.
I am sorry for not standing up for you when others put you down.
And for letting strangers touch you, have a part of you, I am sorry.
I am sorry for the times I used my nails or a blade to cut you – I know now that the blood lost from that will never be regained.
I am sorry for forcing you into clothes that were too small because I couldn’t accept you for the size you were.
I am sorry for stuffing you full of food until you were left immobile and in pain…over and over again.
For the innumerable times I used my finger or a tooth brush to purge you of the food I made you eat – I am sorry.
And for blaming you for every love lost, I apologize.
But most of all, I am sorry for the lost time; for the time spent apart, absent from life, when we could have been enjoying it together.
We can never get that time back; but one thing we can do is make the most of the time we do have, and so I want to make you some promises –
I promise to feed you and nourish you to the extent (and no more) that you need. I promise to rebuild your strength with exercise that is not aimed at harming you. I promise to respect you and not give you away to the hands of just anybody. I promise to not glare at you in the mirror or poke and pinch at you in disgust.
But most importantly, I promise to love you because you are beautiful and you deserve it.
This is my pledge to you.
I will not turn back.
With love,
♥ Lauren Bersaglio
You can read more from Lauren, who also vlogs (is that a verb yet?) regularly, on her website. And while you are doing so, take a few minutes to consider submitting content for Embrace:Me. What better way to make yourself feel good?!
And speaking of feeling good…
Embrace:Me 30-day challenge Day 3: I think today was probably my ‘nicest-to-me’ day so far. I finally did what I’ve been saying I was going to do for ages, and put in an order with Fresh Direct that was delivered on Saturday. Today, I brought foods to work for snacks. I can’t remember the last time I brought snacks with me to work–I’ve gotten so used to just dealing with being hungry and out of it lately–and it made such a huge difference in my day to be able to snack on some string cheese mid-morning, and an apple in the afternoon. No more periods of feeling like I’m about to fall asleep, or like a zombie! I can’t believe I had forgotten how good it feels to feed my body when it’s hungry.
10 comments
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Amy Lauren says:
March 7, 2011 at 8:38 pm (UTC -5)
Thanks for posting this… so many of those really spoke to me.
Amy Lauren recently posted..Pre-Wedding Work Parties!
sarah (sarah learns) says:
March 7, 2011 at 9:58 pm (UTC -5)
what a powerful post! thanks for posting this. it was good to read.
i’m trying really hard on the challenge. today, i ate TEN servings of fruits and vegetables and foam rolled for 5 minutes. i’d say that’s being nice to myself.
Sonia says:
March 8, 2011 at 7:08 am (UTC -5)
Great post and good job on bringing snack to work. It makes such a huge difference.
Sonia recently posted..La crème du petit-déjeuner
Shannon @ My Place In The Race says:
March 8, 2011 at 11:59 am (UTC -5)
Great post!
Shannon @ My Place In The Race recently posted.. Sushi Night
Jo @ Jo In the Kitchen says:
March 8, 2011 at 5:20 pm (UTC -5)
Wow! That’s so powerful. Thank you for sharing, I really needed to see something like this.
LauraJayne says:
March 8, 2011 at 6:10 pm (UTC -5)
I LOVE this post – for Girls on the Run this week, we are focusing on negative self talk – it is something that I have to work on daily! I think we should all write a letter like this to ourselves, and post it where we can see it every day!
LauraJayne recently posted..Don’t Wanna Run
emlit81 says:
March 8, 2011 at 7:06 pm (UTC -5)
That sounds like a really great idea, LauraJayne! I try to re-visit my Embrace:Me post whenever I’m getting overwhelmed by negative self-talk (which happens more often than I’d like to admit). It seems to help to have things written down somewhere–it makes the positive thoughts so much more concrete!
Lauren Bersaglio says:
March 9, 2011 at 1:00 am (UTC -5)
Thanks everyone for all the nice comments you’ve left for this post
It is one of my favourites and most personal.
~ Lauren B.
lindsay says:
March 9, 2011 at 9:33 am (UTC -5)
excellent points. i have been thinking lately about how i don’t appreciate my body like i should, and how i don’t treat it (feed it/take care of it) like i should either! i blame my body for being jiggly yet continue to eat bags of candy… need to whip my *brain* into shape, not my body.
lindsay recently posted..love is in the air
Lauren Bersaglio says:
March 17, 2011 at 2:36 pm (UTC -5)
Thanks, Lindsay, just remember, Your body is your ally it is NOT your enemy =)
~Lauren B
Embrace: Lauren | I Came to Run says:
April 11, 2011 at 7:40 pm (UTC -5)
[...] This week’s post comes from Lauren, who (if you’re keeping track) also authored ‘Dear Body’. I was thrilled when Lauren contacted me about this post, because she is so good at writing about [...]