Lately I’ve been grappling quite a bit with the idea that I might not be especially fond of myself, and that some of the behaviors that I have trouble with (like avoiding food preparation and selection, choosing not to go running, etc) may be ways in which I’m sort of sabotaging myself, and reminding myself that I’m not worth the effort.
I know that deep down, I do like myself. I think I’m funny, fun to be around, kind, generous, and a good person. If I didn’t like myself, I wouldn’t work as hard as I do to treat myself well. And even though I might be better about it some days than I am others, I have put a lot of effort into making big strides in my recovery, being active in the way I deal with my depression and anxiety, running consistently, doing yoga, making and keeping friends, and maintaining a healthy, loving relationship with Nat. These things are not easy, and when I work on them, I’m really making an investment in myself and expressing in a concrete way the fact that that investment is worthwhile.
So maybe the problem is not so much that I don’t like myself, but that I’m not always as care-taking of myself as I could be. This week has been especially hard when it comes to the way I treat myself, and it’s left me feeling really run-down. I’ve spent a lot of time tearing myself down, and very little time working to build myself back up again. I’ve slacked in my running, been bad about getting enough sleep, and let some of my other healthy habits slide. Even when you know that deep down, you’re a good person, weeks like this can make it really hard to feel connected to that idea.
That’s why I decided maybe it’s time to change the way I’m approaching care-taking behaviors. Instead of going through periods where I’m good at maintaining them and periods where I let them fall apart and end up feeling really bad until I manage to pull myself out of the pit I’ve fallen into, I want to consciously work on taking care of myself every day. To help me along this path, I’m going to turn it into a challenge: the Embrace:Me 30-day Challenge. After all, the whole point of Embrace:Me is to love yourself, right?
When I told Nat about this idea, he said he’d do it too. If you want to join in, you’re more than welcome to! The more the merrier! The premise of the Challenge is simple: do one thing every day that is good for you. This can be choosing to step outside your comfort zone to do something that will ultimately be positive, eating a balanced meal, going for a run, doing yoga, going to sleep half an hour earlier than usual…I’m just thinking of examples of things that I know would work in my case. Hopefully, this helps to develop a habit of semi-automatic care-taking; if it becomes something that is second-nature and doesn’t really require any thought, then all the better. If you do end up choosing to participate in the challenge, let me know so that we can support each other.
9 comments
6 pings
Amy Lauren says:
March 5, 2011 at 9:12 am (UTC -5)
I’d love to participate. I know I do a crappy job of taking care of myself sometimes, so this would probably be really good for me to do for 30 days and see just how much things change
. So… count me in!
Amy Lauren recently posted..Pre-Wedding Work Parties!
emlit81 says:
March 5, 2011 at 9:28 am (UTC -5)
Yay! I’m so happy that you’re going to do the challenge! Hopefully this will be a good experience for both of us
Sonia says:
March 5, 2011 at 10:18 am (UTC -5)
I’m in!
Sonia recently posted..De la flexibilité ou Cette tranche de vie qui est aussi la vôtre
emlit81 says:
March 5, 2011 at 1:58 pm (UTC -5)
Yay! Bravo, Sonia
Jill Will Run says:
March 5, 2011 at 3:44 pm (UTC -5)
I’m in too. This is something I struggle with, I often put everyone else ahead of myself. Interesting time to start this, as I’m out of town to help my mom post-surgery. Will be a good exercise for me!
Jill Will Run recently posted..Three Things Thursday
zoe (and the beatles) says:
March 5, 2011 at 6:11 pm (UTC -5)
lovelovelove! these same thoughts have been swimming through my head this week, too, so the timing of this is pretty awesome. i’ve been trying to commit to doing something each day that pushes me out of my comfort zone. this is just the kick in the pants i need to jump start my personal challenge
! in all in!
sarah (sarah learns) says:
March 6, 2011 at 3:55 pm (UTC -5)
what a great challenge! i can’t think of anyone who completely takes care of themselves like they should all the time. i’m totally in to try to treat myself better too.
emlit81 says:
March 6, 2011 at 5:06 pm (UTC -5)
Awesome, I’m so excited that you’re in for the challenge
lindsay says:
March 6, 2011 at 9:01 pm (UTC -5)
great idea! i’ve already been working on putting more effort into getting dressed for work. i’m usually a super slob/lazy, but i’m trying to put some effort in and wear “real” clothes (vs um, a longsleeve plain t from the gap w/ khakis) so that i look a bit nicer. plus of course i feel better about myself when i don’t look like a slob! of course i need to continue this, but eating better / not skipping workouts will help overall too.
Sharing the love | I Came to Run says:
March 8, 2011 at 7:39 pm (UTC -5)
[...] Embrace:Me 30-day Challenge Day 4: Today’s act of kindness may seem like it was a bit of a no-brainer, but with the way things have been going lately, it really wasn’t. I went to the gym after work and got my run in. Lately I’ve gotten into a habit of putting off my first run of the week, which just throws off my mileage overall. By following my training schedule today and taking the time to go for a run instead of doing something else (i.e. going home and wasting time doing essentially nothing), I’ve set myself up to do well this week. I also feel really good after missing so much running last week! [...]
The Eyes Have It | I Came to Run says:
March 10, 2011 at 8:19 pm (UTC -5)
[...] I choose to, and because it makes me feel good about myself. I’m doing it because today is day 6 of the 30-day Embrace:Me challenge. I’m doing it because I think of it as a nice thing to do for myself. To me, my [...]
Lending a Helping Hand | I Came to Run says:
March 11, 2011 at 9:24 pm (UTC -5)
[...] Embrace:Me 30-day challenge (icametorun.com) [...]
The Hardest to Learn | I Came to Run says:
March 22, 2011 at 7:33 pm (UTC -5)
[...] I’ll just be happy in the moment, and celebrate this act of kindness to myself. I think the Embrace:Me Challenge has had a positive influence on [...]
Embrace: A Night Off | I Came to Run says:
March 28, 2011 at 7:20 pm (UTC -5)
[...] This is how I am spending day 23 of the 30-day challenge. [...]
Embrace:Yourself | I Came to Run says:
April 4, 2011 at 6:38 pm (UTC -5)
[...] is the 30th and final day of my Embrace:Me 30-day Challenge. It’s kind of neat that it falls on a Monday, right? I didn’t even plan [...]